Needles In The Haystack Copyright (C) Will Kemp 1993 For reproduction rights see file sp001039.txt CHAPTER SEVENTEEN "Well, London doesn't sound like it was much fun for you." Julie said, playing with the froth on her cappucino as she spoke. Her and Sally sat facing each other across he pink formica top of one of the tables in the Starlight. Sally laughed. "No, it definitely wasn't much fun! But it's really good to be back here again. I'm glad you're still here." "Yeah, well, ya know, i can't really think of anywhere else i'd rather be." Julie smiled. "I've been away a bit since i saw you last, but i'll always come back here, i reckon." "Where've you been?" "Oh, nowhere very exciting. Sydney for a while. And a place near Coffs Harbour where some friends of mine live. And guess what?" "What?" "I'm actually living in a house now! No more cars or tarpaulins! A real genuine house. No electricity, or running water, of course, but then that's normal around here." It was so good being back in Goonabah again. Sally'd had this big stupid grin spread across her face for a couple of days now. The contrast with the way she'd felt in London was incredible. As well as the relief she felt at being back, it was really comforting to know she hadn't just been imagining the differences, that she really was happier in australia than in britain. When sh e left Anton and some of her other friends at Heathrow Airport, Sally had begun to seriously doubt.her sanity. Why was she leaving this behind? What was she really going back to? she wondered in cofusion as the massive 747 began to lurch down the runway. Oh god! What am i doing? she thought in desperation as the acceleration pulled her back into the seat. Then, as it leapt firm the ground and began to roar upwards, almost vertically, She felt relief flood over her and bathe her from head to foot in its warm energy. She'd done it now! There was no turning back. Australia, here i come she thought, putting the whole hideous nightmare right out of her mind. There's a good bit of discomfort involved in intercontinental flights. But, for Sally, who wasn't too disturbed by flying, none of it was mental. Up there, several kilometres above the earth, cocooned in this great air-conditioned, pressurized metal bubble, Speeding through the air at 800km an hour, in the middle of absolutely nowhere, you were completely cut off from reality. Even day and night ceased to obey natural laws. You had left the planet and therefore it was quite safe to leave the worries you'd had there behind. Earthbound and sitting on the ground, waiting for you to land and pick them up again. There was no point in carrying then into the clouds with you - you couldn't do anything about them up there. So Sally did her best to enjoy the flight, catch up with her sleep, and relax. She was on an asian airline, so the food was good, and luckily she'd remembered to order vegetarian meals before she left. There was plenty of free alcohol - beer, wine, spirits - whenever she felt like a drink. And the people she was sitting with were quite inoffensive. She was getting the idea that "inoffensive" was about the best you could hope for in your fellow passengers. Interesting people didn't seem to fly that much - probably couldn't afford to, she thought. (Probably stick all their money up their arms! she tried not to think.) Either that, or they couldn't get visas to go anywhere. Most of the people on these flights were really boring. Either totally straight, or drunk and obnoxious. There were exceptions, of course, but Sally never seemed to end up sitting near them. She'd definitely met more than her fair share of boring people in the air. And when you're cooped up with them for twenty four hours or more, it can be quite nerve-racking. But at least you can always stick the headphones on and close your eyes. She liked flying though, despite its drawbacks. Takeoff and landing were the best bits. Even if you weren't particularly disturbed by it, there was always that little rush of adrenalin when the wheels left the ground and when they touched it again. A similar thrill to the best fairground rides, although not so drawn-out. The bits in between takeoff and landing were good too, most of the time. There was something exciting about. knowing you were shooting through the sky, a long way above the ground, on your way to a far-off destination. Below you - and you could see it if there wasn't too much cloud in the way - strange and exotic countries, whose features you could barely make out, passed slowly by. Well, it seemed like slowly from up there, but if you looked at the plane from down on the ground, it'd be motoring a bit. All-in-all, it was a good flight and apart from being a bit dazed, Sally didn't feel too bad when she walked through customs and out into the arrivals area at Mascot airport in Sydney. Outside, it was pissing down with rain as usual. Luckily, the flight arrived in the middle of the afternoon and Sally was in good time to hop on a the train to Goonabah. She'd thought about spending a few days in Sydney to get over the jetlag and recover from the journey, but she decided against it when she got there. She'd had quite enough of cities for a while, and she new the jetlag would pass much faster in the bush. So, within a few hours of landing, she was sitting on the slow, rattley old red train and heading north. Phil was surprised to see her. And she was surprised to see him too, in, a way. She didn't know if he'd still be in Mainline,. or if he'd moved on somewhere else since she'd seen him last. She'd intended to write to him from London, but the stress of being there had put all thoughts of letter-writing out of her mind. She mumbled a few incoherent sentences - about how good it was to be back - and then went to to sleep on Phil's bed. By the time she'd arrived in Mainline, she was completely fucked. * So what now? Sally wondered when she eventually woke up, still quite disorientated, but recovering from the journey and not too jetlagged. Where do i go from here? She'd thought just far enough ahead to decide she was going to Mainline, but no further. That decision had been made on the flight - when she left London, she'd had no idea what she was going to do. Just go back to australia, that was all. But now she was back in Mainline there was no urgency about deciding what she would do next. In fact, there didn't really seem to be anything to decided. She was here now and she'd stay here till she left - whenever that was. It didn't take long for the slow relaxed lifestyle of the bush to take over her city-fevered mind. And it didn't take long, either, before her and Phil had resumed their relationship pretty much where they'd left it when Phil went off to Sydney nearly a year before. My life seems to be going round in circles! Sally thought. And then didn't think any more about it - it wasn't worth it. After a couple of days resting in Mainline, Sally went into Goonabah and the first person she bumped into was Julie. * "Seen anyone from Happy Christmas?" Sally asked Julie. "Yeah, a few of them came over here about a month ago. Having a bit of a holiday from their little world. They asked if i'd heard anything from you and said they missed you and Anton." "Yeah ... I meant to write..." "We were beginning to think you'd disappeared off the face of the earth! " Julie laughed. "Nearly!" Sally grinned awkwardly. "London's a bit like a black hole that you can vanish into, never to return." "But you escaped." "Just!" "So what else has been happening around here since i've been away?" Sally asked after a pause. "Oh., not much... You know, the usual..." "Come on, something must have happened!" Julie thought for a while. "Well, Astro ate his dog." "What?!" Sally was amazed. "What do you mean, ate his dog?" "He ate it." Julie was enjoying Sally's surprise. "It got run over, so he ate it." "You're joking." "No, seriously. He skinned it, gutted it and stuck it in the oven. He invited us round for the meal, but nobody was really that keen on the idea." "I'm not surprised!" "Then he dried out the skin, made it into a bag and he carries the bones around in it. He says he loved the dog so much, he feels like it's still with him that way." SallY laughed. "Shouldn't laugh really," she said, "it's quite a serious matter, eating your dog! It sounds like it hasn't changed much round here! What else?" "Dunno, really. You've been away quite a long time now, haven't you? Something must have happened." She shrugged her shoulders and stared into her coffee cup for a while. "Neville got carted off to the nuthouse a while ago." "Who?" "You know, he used to run this place." "Oh yeah! I thought the coffee tasted better! What happened?" "He just flipped completely. You remember he was totally spun out, anti-drug crazy?" "That's right, and he used to pop valium every two minutes!" "Well, he just went right over the top. It was probably the valium that did it. These anti-drug posters began appearing all around the town. They'd just materialize on walls mysteriously at night. No-one knew where they were coming from. At first, we thought it was the NA mob - the slogans were dumb enough. Things like: 'Drugs are the work of the devil' and 'don't smoke pot, pray instead'. But then they got a bit more extreme and we realized it wasn't that lot doing it. Things like: 'Execute drug addicts', etcetera. "Then, one night, the cop caught Neville sticking one up on the window of the police station, saying: 'Junkies should be slowly tortured to death' and he threatened to put him inside if he kept doing it." "What a weirdo." Sally thought it sounded like the Goonabah she knew. "So why did they lock him up?" Julie laughed. "That's the best part. One day, in here, he just leapt on this man, screaming and accusing him of being a junkie and started beating the shit out of him. He must have been too stunned to fight back, because it turned out he was an undercover drug squad cop, and they're well trained in self defence! Anyway, Neville-put him in hospital with a broken nose, broken arm, broken ribs and concussion. After that, they just carted him off and locked him away, poor old bastard! The drug squad have been keeping well away from Goonabah since then too, by all accounts!" "So it's been pretty dull around here, really then!" Sally said, when she stopped laughing. "Yeah... I can't really think of anything much else. But i'm sure there's been a few other things going on..." She broke off and looked towards the door. "G'day Muz!" Sally's heart skipped a beat. She looked round in the direction of Julie's gaze. Why did she still feel a bit weird about Muz? she Wondered. It wasn't only strange, it was really bloody stupid. But from the look that passed quickly over Muz's face when she saw Sally, she felt something similar too. "You're back!" she said with a smile, as she sat down next to Julie. "Is Anton with you?" she asked a little hesitantly. Sally shook her head. "No. He's still in London being a junkie." They both laughed as they remembered Sally asking Muz a similar question and getting a similar reply - a long time ago now. "Do you know Tony?" Muz indicated the man that walked in with her. "Yeah, i think we met in Sydney a couple of times." sally replied. "You used to live with Morna, didn't you?" "Yeah, still do." he replied, "Only we've moved now." Muz asked Sally about London aid Sally answered unenthusiastically. She was beginning to get sick of talking about it already, and she'd only been back a few days. "What have you been up to?" she asked in return, to change the subject. "Hmmm, well, that would be telling, wouldn't it." Muz said, with a knowing grin, and a wink at Tony. "I don't know if i should really tell you. Walls have ears, you know, especially round here!" Sally frowned, not sure if Muz was taking the piss out of her or not. "Fair enough." She shrugged. "It sounds intriguing though." "Oh it's definitely intriguing!" Muz grinned and leant forward over the table towards Sally. "We ripped off this dealer's stash in Sydney." she whispered. "We're going to be well and truly killed if he finds out it was us. It'll be concrete boots at the bottom of the harbour, without a second thought. He's a really nasty bastard! That's part of the reason why we did it. He's ripped off so many people we know." Tony nodded. "How much did you get?" Julie asked, interested now, by the possibility of a free taste. She'd thought Muz was taking the piss at first too. "About ten grand's worth. Over thirty grams!" Julie whistled. "Jeez, he must have been a big dealer!" "Bloody right he was. He'll be really spewing!" Muz laughed. "How did you do it?" Sally asked, fascinated by this latest junkie escapade. She wished Anton was here, he would have loved it. "How?! With incredible difficulty, that's how!." Muz was making the most of her audience, now she had their full attention. "We actually climbed up three floors on the OUTSIDE of a block of flats and got in through the balcony. We knew he was out, because he'd just ripped off one of our mates at a pub in Surry Hills and we knew where he was headed next. But we didn't know how much dope he had stashed away up there. We nearly jumped over the balcony and ran away screaming when we found it. But we didn't. We kept our heads and left by the front door, cool as cucumbers. We were really lucky though, because just as we were about to go out the front of the flats, he pulled up in a taxi. He didn't see us though..." "We hope!" Tony added. "...No, he didn't, he was too busy paying the cab driver. So we just hid and left after he'd gone upstairs. I'll.bet he was spewing!" She grinned, pleased with the effect her story had on the two women she was telling it to. And still pleased with herself and Tony for pulling off the daring feat. "So where is it?" Julie asked, trying to be casual about it. "Ah, that really would be telling!" Muz grinned, determined to play the story for all it was worth. * Over the next few weeks, Sally got back into the swing of australia, Goonabah and Mainline. The painful months in London began to fade rapidly into the past. That long period spent in two different cities had left her with the feeling that she should be doing things to justify her existence. So she justified her not-doing anything by telling herself that she needed time to recover Prom those experiences and the travelling. Before very long the doing-obsession started to go a bit and she felt happy just wandering through the forest or sitting on a hillside staring at the trees. It's not until it passes,, that you realize how ridiculous that obsession with always "doing" something is. How destructive it can be and how effectively it prevents you from just enjoying the simplicity of life itself. The pirate radio station was gone. Busted in a spectacular raid with helicopters, dogs and bus-loads of police. With all that lot, the only reason they found it in the end was because Alien fell out of a tree onto one of the department of communications officials. Zara had been acting as a decoy and trying to lead the police to where they had a dummy transmitter stashed and booby-trapped, and Alien had been up the tree with the real transmitter, broadcasting a live commentary on the raid. For some reason, probably warped psychic powers, the DOC men had set up camp right under the tree, without even noticing Alien perched precariously above their heads. They would probably never have discovered him there if he hadn't been stretching out to watch the course of a helicopter and lost his balance. The bureaucrat underneath him was knocked cold and tried to press charges for assault, but the judge laughed it out of court. However, he had copped a big fine for illegal broadcasting and they'd lost the transmitting gear too. So there wasn't even this for Sally to get involved with. She really had nothing to do at all. But she was happy with her quiet life. Occasionally, though, she would think about Anton, wonder what he was doing and how he was. And this would throw her into a period of depression. She knew she shouldn't let what he was doing worry her. She should accept him when he was around and forget about him when he wasn't. He wasn't the sort of person you could afford to worry about or miss too much! But knowing that didn't help a lot. As the weeks passed and it got closer to the time when Anton was due to come back to australia, she found the level of her anxiety rising. She got a few letters from him during that time. Short, sometimes almost unintelligible, scribbled notes. He was obviously still using a lot, although he never mentioned drugs in his letters. He told her he missed her and was looking forward to seeing her again. He wrote a few sentences about what their friends were doing and asked her for news of people he knew in australia. At first his letters contained long paragraphs on how fucked London was, but as the weeks went by these complaints got less and less and a sinking feeling that he was getting really settled there began to gnaw at Sally's heart. But most of the time she managed not to think too much about him. Not to worry about whether he was coming back and, if she would ever see him again. She was happy where she was, in the beautiful, peaceful surroundings she lived in. She was happy with the friends she had living around her and that she saw most days, either in Mainline or in Goonabah. And she was happy with the relationship she had with Phil - in fact she sometimes wondered why she didn't just give up on Anton altogether. But she couldn't forget him just like that. There was a really strong bond between them, something that wasn't affected by distance or time. Something that seemed to link them together wherever they were and whatever they were doing. It was probably this link that told her, a week before she got his last letter, that he wasn't going to come back when he was supposed to. He said in the letter that he'd postponed his flight for another six weeks, but he would definitely be coming back then. Sally doubted it. She became convinced she would never see him again. And at first she seemed to accept this. She shrugged it off. It wasn't completely unexpected, after all. And at least now she knew for sure. There was no more need for uncertainty and worry. In a way, she felt relieved. ***