WHAT IT IS TO BE A GIRL IN AN ANARCHIST BOYS CLUB

From Alphabet Threat

• You act as if you think nothing will get done if you don't do it.
• I don't trust physicality that you initiate BUT at the same time I want all of us to be more physical-playful-affectionate with each other.
• I can and do defend myself against all sorts of verbal attacks until it is something sexual from someone I know and like and trust and then sometimes I pretend I'm amused or like it or don't mind or something. I'm confused by my inability to to deal when I've practised and want to, and by your inability to recognize your behavior as sexual oppression.
• O.K. I'm way intimidated by lots of loud boys in a group.
• Everything I say out loud in a group is pre-planned, composed. I'm not spontaneous 'cuz yeah I'm shy but mostly I don't trust you to listen without interrupting, treat what I say as valued if I'm not rehearsed.
• I don't want to be squashed.
• I'm out-numbered. My allies are silent around you.
• You are approached to answer questions for our group, make decisions and announcements. You even think it is okay to define our group to visitors, strangers. Somehow you aren't ever questioned by the group for this behavior.
• I've stopped believing that you are "sorry" or are "working on it."
• I'm putting less and less energy, at age 25, into heated discussions and reacting to/educating people with stupid behavior. I'm tired of correcting sexism. There are other things I need to put my energy into --my creativity, my search for meaning, personal relationships. Men (and all people with a sub/consciousness who say women are less able) need to feel how sexism limits them. Men need to stop feeling self righteous and defensive (classic reactions to even a third person comment about gender inequity) and look honestly at their ways. How does sexism limit a man?
• Why do I hafta be the bitch?
• Yeah. I'm pissed off.
• Maybe a "group" discussion dominated by two or three people ISN"T.
• D.I.Y. or do it all by yourself?
• Why don't you wonder about girls not getting involved, or leaving, or sitting in silence?
• A body count is not gender balance.
• I don't fucking want the responsibility of policing for sexism. Get over it because it sucks, not just because I'm in the room right now.
• Feminist perspective is not just for women or special occasions.
• You are not the boss. Get over yourself.
• When I assert myself you get to think that it is as easy for me as for you, as easy for all women as for me. Wrong.
• Prob'ly you think that THIS group (yeah this one) doesn't have any gender issues or sexism.
• Sometimes I think that feminist issues, women's groups and projects exist both to pacify and occupy and distract me.
• Just shut the fuck up a little. Once in a while.
• I'm so fed up with the games and bullshit that I'm ready to work with mainstream groups or alone or somewhere else or not at all.
• Its like you think that calling yourself an anarchist makes you clean and pure and no longer subject to self examination or criticism. You've make the term repulsive to me.
• Why am I the only one who knows how to nurture?
• You prob'ly think this song is about you, don't you? Don't you? Don't you?
• I get the feeling that you are threatened. And scared. Good.
• When the women in our group decide to get together you hafta know why and how and what gets said. None of your beeswax.
• You complain that you feel left out when the women get together. So. I feel surrounded in a "mixed" group right now.
• I just don't wanna tolerate this shit anymore.
• Why, when you confront sexism, is it cause for celebration?
• It is time for me to be with women. I've spent my life in a world defined by men, learning from men, relating to men, reading men, trying to write and talk like men, being around men.
• If you feel threatened 'cuz me and my sistahs are pissed off and together maybe you gots a good reason to run. That's right.

FOR RIOTEOUS LAUGHS TRY SUBSTITUTING "QUEER" OR "NON-WHITE" FOR GIRL, HET OR WHITE FOR BOYS